You know that feeling that you get when you are sitting in Testimony Meeting and you know you need to get up? Your palms start sweating, your heart is racing, you keep having that conversation in your head, "get up", "no, I can't", "but you should", "but I don't want to". Until finally you give in, pour out your heart and then feel much better?
Well, let me just tell you that didn't happen this month! Why? Was I not fasting? Did I come with the wrong spirit? No, I - emphasis on I, was just fine. The problem was the 5 "sweet" spirits that I was wrestling with on the bench. Seriously, it is like WW3. He took my pencil, I need to go potty, He is sitting to close to me, How much time is left, Do we have a pack meeting this week, What are we having for lunch, Do I have to sit next to HER, I don't want to sit next to him if he doesn't want to sit next to me......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
And what does my dh do? Well, take out the baby of course. LUCKY!
So, in trying to understand why I was the recipient of 5 beautiful wiggly children I thought that I probably needed to change my perspective.
Instead of considering it a hinderance to my spiritual growth because I can't see, hear and internalize anyones testimony..(also hard to have the desire to share mine when I want to strangle 5 little necks)....maybe it is supposed to be a nudge to go up and bear my testimony despite not being able to feel the spirit. Maybe it is the mormon mommas version of the spirit beckoning me to go up and bear testimony...5 nosiy children driving me up to the stand by driving me insane! Next time I think I will have to take heed to the feeling and put myself in TIMEOUT - it just so happens that this time out is bearing testimony! We'll see.
2 comments:
I didn't look at it that way until now! That is a good point Rachel.
Being there in a pew with 5 kids dressed and ready, that's a Testimony!
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